Gita (Max, lead guitar): Future gig: January 16th, opening for The Constellation Branch in Mesa, AZ:

http://www.songkick.com/venue/46484/red-mountain-christian-center-mesa (I haven't found the link for buying tickets yet)

My son's Max's band Gita is opening for Theresa Andersson tomorrow, Sunday, January 4th, night at Modified Arts in downtown Phoenix!! Cool!! See you there!!

Here's a link for Theresa Andersson...be prepared to be BLOWN AWAY!! (to get the full effect, hit PAUSE in the audio player on the right of the screen, down just a little, then scroll further down and click on the movie of her in her kitchen, performing live "Birds Fly Away"!)

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=125320540

Here's the link for Modified Arts, where you can purchase tickets:

http://www.modified.org/

And here is where you can see and hear Max's and Gita's current releases (they are recording their first album as I write this!):

http://www.myspace.com/gitasound (Frankly, I don't like their most recent song, but listen to the second one, it's a great example of their work. Aaaaaaaand in both songs, listen to the lead guitar...that's Max, and I think he sounds really fine... :)

I will be posting upcoming gigs for Max and Gita here; the most current at the top each time.

What can I say? I'm proud of all my kids. When Andrew has his painting opening, or his next performance, I'll post it here, as well as when Hannah has a university dance public recital, and when Cameron is ready for Saturday Night Live....

Garrison Keillor's Writer's Almanac broadcasts - each one a short five minutes or so I believe - are my favorite thing on radio. They make me cry with happiness. He reads a poem in each one, often by current authors I've never heard of. Some of them I don't care for, but some of them are absolute gold, and I don't want to lose them. When the day comes I have extra money to spend, I intend to buy the books of poetry by the authors that I enjoyed and admired on Writer's Almanac.

Someone said, perhaps Yeats - feel free to enlighten me if you know, just use the "contact us" button at the upper right - that poems express a particular mode of consciousness that cannot be expressed in any other way, that cannot be put into words, yet in a poem, the essence is more than the sum of the words - so the result is communicating something that cannot be otherwise communicated, and which is quintessentially human...or humane.

So, this is simply a list of my favorite episodes/poems on Writer's Almanac, so I can find them when I want them (in order by favor, not by date - the top is my most favorite - the last is still a favorite, and by no means least, there are no duds in this list, but still there are favorites I can listen to daily, and favorites I'd like to revisit once a month or once a year):

(Returning to Earth by Jim Harrison - funny, brilliant, philosophical in the best sense, insightful. I could start each day with this one.)
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2008/12/11

(Coming out of Walmart by Mark DeFoe - a heavenly poem, a moment of grace.)
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2008/12/22

(Waking From Sleep by Robert Bly - marvelous poem. I do not completely understand it, but it tells of a distant shore my heart yearns for.)
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2008/12/23

(Song of Wonderful Surprise by Kelly Cherry - a nature poem that transcends being a nature poem; it is actually an existential poem, and one of the loveliest ones ever at that.)
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2008/12/29

(Proposals by Cecillia Woloch - wow, Garrison Keillor is on a roll! At this rate I'm going to be listing just about all of them! But, in any case, this one cannot be missed, it is about identity, a mystery of life...and it is rich with wry humor.)
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2008/12/30

(Sonnet for Mary by Ralph Edwards - Both sad and wonderful, a sonnet! It's not strictly pentameter, and it's actually fourteen heroic couplets...so it's not the rhyme scheme we expect - but I quibble...it's still a sonnet, and it's still wonderful.)
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2008/01/09

(Black Dog by James DenBoer - lest anyone suspect I only like poems with great words or humor or positive humanistic themes, here's one that is bare bones, does not moralize, has an ambiguous ending I don't understand yet and, while not "pretty", is quite compelling.)
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2008/01/06

(Great Depression Story by Claudia Emerson - striking, chilling, heart-wrenching, gorgeous.)
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2008/12/08

(At Sea by Wendy Mnookin - brief, intense, superb, a glimpse deep into all human hearts)
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2008/12/15

(A Christmas Poem by William Miller - if drunks disgust you, you may find this poem aversive...or it may change your mind a little...not that I enjoy drunks, but I did enjoy this poem...we all have to struggle through life somehow; some seem to do it better than others, some get it handed to them by fortune, some get drunk, but we all can share in love.)
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2008/12/21

(Cardinals by John L. Stanizzi - a love poem, universal and intensely personal at the same time, captures an experience most humans have, at least once in their lives, differently and yet identically, defining something essential in the human condition)
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2008/12/17

(In Passing by Ted Kooser - read on Writer's Almanac on my birthday, I was curious to see what it would be. It is a superb poem, about shyness and pain and hope, and I thought it suited me well.)
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2008/12/27

(The Conjugation of the Paramecium by Muriel Rukheyser - fascinating, very subtle, very deep once you penetrate the subtlety, and I must admit it helps to know some microbiology and the miracle of conjugation - but on the other hand she gives you the essentials.)
http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2008/12/15

For my daughter Hannah, for Christmas, 2008, from Dad:*


"Hannah is a Goddess, yet in her mind"

Hannah is a goddess, yet in her mind

Dwells a genius that lingers not on looks.

This brilliant angel, gracious and kind,

Brought to Earth a sureness not found in books.

She writes storied essays with wisdom and wit,

And could be an author if she so chose -

Or a poet - and fail the heights not a bit -

But she speaks without words greater than those:

Her elevés, arabesques, and invisible

Intents sing louder than sounds could ever

Express: She pliés to conquer, sensible

Of love; each essence is hers forever.

Hannah is a dancer: complex, sublime;

She makes lyric movement hug all time.

 

 

 

*Charles Knouse 2008 All Rights Reserved.

A few notes:

You are welcome to adapt this poem for a child (the above was written for a teenager about to become an adult), if you wish. T.S. Elliot said: "Good poets imitate. Great poets steal." (Picasso said the same thing as it applied to fine art.) If you can use this poem, in your own way, to help support a child's (or adult's, for that matter) own aspirations and interests - it is important that the aspirations are theirs, not your own! - by all means steal it - or the idea of it, which is what T. S. Elliot, and Picasso, really meant. All I ask is that if you publish it anywhere, including posting it on the web, in a form where the original is still recognizable, that you acknowledge who gave it to you...me. That's not much to ask, and I gladly give it to you if it will help someone grow into or accept who they are as much more than they thought they could be.

Regarding language and word/concept choice: I believe, when writing a sonnet for someone, in going to the heart of the matter, their essential character and most cherished aspirations. A sonnet, to me, should be written in elevated language, should include beauty, beautiful words, and the awe of life, and the subject of the sonnet should also be elevated to the essential perfection that exists in the person, ignoring any petty human foibles that, after all, are a part of each and everyone of us (although more in some than others, admittedly, but in the case of Hannah, fortuitously not a significant issue).

For me, also, it is not religious - that is, confined to any religion - to include concepts of Heaven and God and Angels - nor is it pagan; rather, it is my poetic expression of my personal conviction that humans have the obligation and privilege of creating Heaven on Earth - that is what I believe Jesus was talking about when he said, "Heaven and Earth are One", and "As it is in Heaven, so shall it be on Earth": what we set in the Heavens - shared belief - so shall it manifest in the Earth - our lives and forms. A child, even a young adult, needs a parent or, lacking that, a mentor, who will share a belief in their ability to achieve fulfillment. I'm not talking about fame or fortune, I'm not even talking about selfish desires, I'm talking about a child excelling in whatever they are on Earth to do, whatever it is, so long as it in some way contributes to the wholeness of humanity. Presidents of Ignorance, Vice Presidents of Torture and Wall Street crooks need not apply.

For addressing children, especially, although I believe the same for addressing adults - it's just that adults can better weather a well-intentioned but misguided critique - but for children, even teenagers nearing adulthood, I believe in paying attention only to the positive, the uplifting, the best aspirations or qualities each one has. Nobody wants a poem that points out they have a messy room, choose bad friends or can't do math. This was something my wife taught me, but it came quite naturally to me once I understood the idea: that by giving attention to the best in a child, the best is encouraged to grow and express. By the same token, the praise must be rooted in what is really there, or it has a deflating effect - this means careful and close observation, perhaps casual conversation, to find out what is actually harbored in the person's heart or best displayed in their actions. In someone who has been abused, you might have to look for the tiniest clue first, for they will likely hide away very deeply what is most sacred to them.

Have you ever heard the saying, "It ain't boastin' if yuh done it"? Well, I can tell you that our four children are absolute marvels, and they have turned out so well in no small part because we were careful to observe what mattered most to each one and to give solid, but unobtrusive, support. This is not spoiling, for those of you who, like me, grew up with an abusive and criticizing parent, and might still carry those misconceptions about parenting modeled so thoroughly by a confused father or mother.

 

Finally, I generally like sonnets in iambic pentameter, ten syllables to the line, but often nine or eleven work just fine. The rhymes should be good words, not "hut" with "butt", and I try not to stretch for an artificial rhyme. For example, in Hannah's sonnet I had rhymed "invisible" with "a sybil", which was awfully clever and deliciously archaic, but, first, it didn't read out loud well - not an easy rhyme for the ear to catch on the fly - and second, while the archaic meaning of sybil is prophetess, the modern meaning that would be inferred by most would be that of "Sybil", the fractured personality - so I changed it. In those lines, "invisible" now rhymes with "sensible"; it reads nicely, catches the ear, and even though the meaning for "sensible" that I intend is somewhat archaic, the context helps the reader understand I mean the older meaning of "being sensitive to", not "practical".

 

As per rhyme scheme, I usually follow the Shakespearean, which has been argued should instead be named after Daniel, who set the example for Shakespeare, but in any case it is as follows: abab cdcd efef gg. The final couplet, by the way, is also known as a Heroic couplet, and in one sonnet I vary the rhyme scheme to make the third quatrain (the third four-line stanza) out of same-rhymed heroic couplets: eeee, so that sonnet's rhymes follow the scheme: abab cdcd eeee ff. Someday I plan to write one that is: aaaa bbbb cccc dd. I understand fully that the Shakespearean form usually has the best overall effect, the sustained suspense of the alternatively rhymed lines of the quatrains culminating in the satisfying rhymed couplet at the end, but sometimes the content calls for a different progression, as it did in the sonnet for Cameron.

 

For my son Cameron, for Christmas, 2008, from Dad:*

"Cameron is just a wonderful boy"

Cameron is just a wonderful boy.

The kind of boy who makes you wonder:

What if all the world's boys could shine such joy?

What if all men-to-be came out from under

 

This seemingly eternal lust for strife

And instead spread love like Heaven's balm?

For the manliest need is to cherish life,

The manliest song is compassion's psalm.

 

Cameron is soon a man grown tall.

He walks with ease and befriends large and small.

Would he had been Adam before the Fall,

We would live there still, in nature's thrall.

 

For if all Earth's men would Cameron be,

Love would light all Earth and illume the Sea.

 

 

 

*Charles Knouse 2008 All Rights Reserved.

 

A few notes:

 

You are welcome to adapt this poem for a child (the above was written for a teenager about to become an adult), if you wish. T.S. Elliot said: "Good poets imitate. Great poets steal." (Picasso said the same thing as it applied to fine art.) If you can use this poem, in your own way, to help support a child's (or adult's, for that matter) own aspirations and interests - it is important that the aspirations are theirs, not your own! - by all means steal it - or the idea of it, which is what T. S. Elliot, and Picasso, really meant. All I ask is that if you publish it anywhere, including posting it on the web, in a form where the original is still recognizable, that you acknowledge who gave it to you...me. That's not much to ask, and I gladly give it to you if it will help someone grow into or accept who they are as much more than they thought they could be.

 

Regarding language and word/concept choice: I believe, when writing a sonnet for someone, in going to the heart of the matter, their essential character and most cherished aspirations. A sonnet, to me, should be written in elevated language, should include beauty, beautiful words, and the awe of life, and the subject of the sonnet should also be elevated to the essential perfection that exists in the person, ignoring any petty human foibles that, after all, are a part of each and everyone of us (although more in some than others, admittedly, but in the case of Cameron, fortuitously not a significant issue).

 

For me, also, it is not religious - that is, confined to any religion - to include concepts of Heaven and God and Angels - nor is it pagan; rather, it is my poetic expression of my personal conviction that humans have the obligation and privilege of creating Heaven on Earth - that is what I believe Jesus was talking about when he said, "Heaven and Earth are One", and "As it is in Heaven, so shall it be on Earth": what we set in the Heavens - shared belief - so shall it manifest in the Earth - our lives and forms. A child, even a young adult, needs a parent or, lacking that, a mentor, who will share a belief in their ability to achieve fulfillment. I'm not talking about fame or fortune, I'm not even talking about selfish desires, I'm talking about a child excelling in whatever they are on Earth to do, whatever it is, so long as it in some way contributes to the wholeness of humanity. Presidents of Ignorance, Vice Presidents of Torture and Wall Street crooks need not apply.

 

For addressing a child with a poem, especially with a sonnet - although I believe the same for addressing adults - it's just that adults can better weather a well-intentioned but misguided critique - but for children, even teenagers, even adults! - I believe in paying attention only to the positive, the uplifting, the best aspirations or qualities each one has. Nobody wants a poem that points out they have a messy room, choose bad friends or can't do math. This was something my wife taught me, but it came quite naturally to me once I understood the idea: that by giving attention to the best in a child, the best is encouraged to grow and express. By the same token, the praise must be rooted in what is really there, or it has a deflating effect - this means careful and close observation, perhaps casual conversation, to find out what is actually harbored in the person's heart or best displayed in their actions. In someone who has been abused, you might have to look for the tiniest clue first, for they will likely hide away very deeply what is most sacred to them.

 

Have you ever heard the saying, "It ain't boastin' if yuh done it"? Well, I can tell you that our four children are absolute marvels, and they have turned out so well in no small part because we were careful to observe what mattered most to each one and to give solid, but unobtrusive, support. This is not spoiling, for those of you who, like me, grew up with an abusive and criticizing parent, and might still carry those misconceptions about parenting modeled so thoroughly by a confused father or mother.

 

Finally, I generally like sonnets in iambic pentameter, ten syllables to the line, but often nine or eleven work just fine. The rhymes should be good words, not "hut" with "butt", and I try not to stretch for an artificial rhyme. For example, in Hannah's sonnet I had rhymed "invisible" with "a sybil", which was awfully clever and deliciously archaic, but, first, it didn't read out loud well - not an easy rhyme for the ear to catch on the fly - second, while the archaic meaning of sybil is prophetess, the modern meaning that would be inferred by most would be that of "Sybil", the fractured personality - so I changed it. In those lines, "invisible" now rhymes with "sensible"; it reads nicely, catches the ear, and even though the meaning for "sensible" that I intend is somewhat archaic, the context helps the reader understand I mean the older meaning of "being sensitive to", not "practical". As per rhyme scheme, I usually follow the Shakespearean, which has been argued should instead be named after Daniel, who set the example for Shakespeare, but in any case it is as follows: abab cdcd efef gg. The final couplet, by the way, is also known as a Heroic couplet, and in the sonnet above I vary the rhyme scheme to make the third quatrain (the third four-line stanza) out of same-rhymed heroic couplets: eeee, so that sonnet's rhymes follow: abab cdcd eeee ff. Someday I plan to write one that is: aaaa bbbb cccc dd. I understand fully that the Shakespearean form usually has the best overall effect, the sustained suspense of the alternatively rhymed lines of the quatrains culminating in the satisfying rhymed couplet at the end, but sometimes the content calls for a different progression, as it did in the sonnet for Cameron.

 

 

For my son Max, for Christmas, 2008, from Dad:*


"Max: Out of the Just boy has grown the man"

Max: Out of the Just boy has grown the man.

He walks plain straight, but, bending, smiles with notes,

When human hearts have to revelry ran,

And plays to make dance the starry motes.

 

He has talent, vast, but far more than that

Is his gentle justice to refinéd song,

Fine judgement from a jazz cool kat

Who lightens moods with melodies strong.

 

He can swing high, he can swing low, lead them all

In a sweet tip-toe. At dusk, light the dawn,

At dawn, dark the night, and then, for love, call

God's muses to choir Heaven upon.

 

Max is a musician with perfect grace,

A man with rapture for the human race.

 

 

 

*Charles Knouse 2008 All Rights Reserved.

 

A few notes:

 

You are welcome to adapt this poem for a child (the above was written for a teenager about to become an adult), if you wish. T.S. Elliot said: "Good poets imitate. Great poets steal." (Picasso said the same thing as it applied to fine art.) If you can use this poem, in your own way, to help support a child's (or adult's, for that matter) own aspirations and interests - it is important that the aspirations are theirs, not your own! - by all means steal it - or the idea of it, which is what T. S. Elliot, and Picasso, really meant. (For example, there is, in the above sonnet for Max, a bold allusion to Sir Philip Sydney's finest sonnet, To Stella.) All I ask is that if you publish it anywhere, including posting it on the web, in a form where the original is still recognizable, that you acknowledge who gave it to you...me. That's not much to ask, and I gladly give it to you if it will help someone grow into or accept who they are as much more than they thought they could be.

 

Regarding language and word/concept choice: I believe, when writing a sonnet for someone, in going to the heart of the matter, their essential character and most cherished aspirations. A sonnet, to me, should be written in elevated language, should include beauty, beautiful words, and the awe of life, and the subject of the sonnet should also be elevated to the essential perfection that exists in the person, ignoring any petty human foibles that, after all, are a part of each and everyone of us (although more in some than others, admittedly, but in the case of Max, fortuitously not a significant issue).

 

For me, also, it is not religious - that is, confined to any religion - to include concepts of Heaven and God and Angels - nor is it pagan; rather, it is my poetic expression of my personal conviction that humans have the obligation and privilege of creating Heaven on Earth - that is what I believe Jesus was talking about when he said, "Heaven and Earth are One", and "As it is in Heaven, so shall it be on Earth": what we set in the Heavens - shared belief - so shall it manifest in the Earth - our lives and forms. A child, even a young adult, needs a parent or, lacking that, a mentor, who will share a belief in their ability to achieve fulfillment. I'm not talking about fame or fortune, I'm not even talking about selfish desires, I'm talking about a child excelling in whatever they are on Earth to do, whatever it is, so long as it in some way contributes to the wholeness of humanity. Presidents of Ignorance, Vice Presidents of Torture and Wall Street crooks need not apply.

 

For addressing children, especially, although I believe the same for addressing adults - it's just that adults can better weather a well-intentioned but misguided critique - but for children, even teenagers, I believe in paying attention only to the positive, the uplifting, the best aspirations or qualities each one has. Nobody wants a poem that points out they have a messy room, choose bad friends or can't do math. This was something my wife taught me, but it came quite naturally to me once I understood the idea: that by giving attention to the best in a child, the best is encouraged to grow and express. By the same token, the praise must be rooted in what is really there, or it has a deflating effect - this means careful and close observation, perhaps casual conversation, to find out what is actually harbored in the person's heart or best displayed in their actions. In someone who has been abused, you might have to look for the tiniest clue first, for they will likely hide away very deeply what is most sacred to them.

 

Have you ever heard the saying, "It ain't boastin' if yuh done it"? Well, I can tell you that our four children are absolute marvels, and they have turned out so well in no small part because we were careful to observe what mattered most to each one and to give solid, but unobtrusive, support. This is not spoiling, for those of you who, like me, grew up with an abusive and criticizing parent, and might still carry those misconceptions about parenting modeled so thoroughly by a confused father or mother.

Finally, I generally like sonnets in iambic pentameter, ten syllables to the line, but often nine or eleven work just fine. The rhymes should be good words, not "hut" with "butt", and I try not to stretch for an artificial rhyme. For example, in Hannah's sonnet I had rhymed "invisible" with "a sybil", which was awfully clever and deliciously archaic, but, first, it didn't read out loud well - not an easy rhyme for the ear to catch on the fly - second, while the archaic meaning of sybil is prophetess, the modern meaning that would be inferred by most would be that of "Sybil", the fractured personality - so I changed it. In those lines, "invisible" now rhymes with "sensible"; it reads nicely, catches the ear, and even though the meaning for "sensible" that I intend is somewhat archaic, the context helps the reader understand I mean the older meaning of "being sensitive to", not "practical".

As per rhyme scheme, I usually follow the Shakespearean, which has been argued should instead be named after Daniel, who set the example for Shakespeare, but in any case it is as follows: abab cdcd efef gg. The final couplet, by the way, is also known as a Heroic couplet, and in the sonnet above I vary the rhyme scheme to make the third quatrain (the third four-line stanza) out of same-rhymed heroic couplets: eeee, so that sonnet's rhymes follow: abab cdcd eeee ff. Someday I plan to write one that is: aaaa bbbb cccc dd. I understand fully that the Shakespearean form usually has the best overall effect, the sustained suspense of the alternatively rhymed lines of the quatrains culminating in the satisfying rhymed couplet at the end, but sometimes the content calls for a different progression, as it did in the sonnet for Cameron.

For my son Andrew, for Christmas, 2008, from Dad:*


"Andrew is an artist, fierce, free and wild"

Andrew is an artist, fierce, free and wild,

He could throw dirt at cats, and once they've fled,

There would remain, astonishing, an earth-fleshed child,

Cat-like, feral, but out of a human bed.

 

He paints with essence, peanut-butter, pears,

With gouts of blood from his opened chest,

With rays of blue and yellow thrown down stairs,

And sprinkled with gemstones from a starry nest.

 

View works of Andrew and you gaze at God,

Playing with light like drumsticks on prism'd glass,

Careless of frowns, splashing paint with feet unshod,

He laughs at clouds and to canvas breathes mass.

 

Andrew is a painter with molten gold,

Untarnished visions all Heaven wants told.

 

 

*Charles Knouse 2008 All Rights Reserved.

A few notes:

You are welcome to adapt this poem for a child (the above was written for a teenager about to become an adult), if you wish. T.S. Elliot said: "Good poets imitate. Great poets steal." (Picasso said the same thing as it applied to fine art.) If you can use this poem, in your own way, to help support a child's (or adult's, for that matter) own aspirations and interests - it is important that the aspirations are theirs, not your own! - by all means steal it - or the idea of it, which is what T. S. Elliot, and Picasso, really meant. (There is a bold allusion to Wallace Steven's Sunday Morning in the above sonnet, for those of you who know Stevens.) All I ask is that if you publish it anywhere, including posting it on the web, in a form where the original is still recognizable, that you acknowledge who gave it to you...me. That's not much to ask, and I gladly give it to you if it will help someone grow into or accept who they are as much more than they thought they could be.

 

Regarding language and word/concept choice: I believe, when writing a sonnet for someone, in going to the heart of the matter, their essential character and most cherished aspirations. A sonnet, to me, should be written in elevated language, should include beauty, beautiful words, and the awe of life, and the subject of the sonnet should also be elevated to the essential perfection that exists in the person, ignoring any petty human foibles that, after all, are a part of each and everyone of us (although more in some than others, admittedly, but in the case of Andrew, fortuitously not a significant issue).

 

For me, also, it is not religious - that is, confined to any religion - to include concepts of Heaven and God and Angels - nor is it pagan; rather, it is my poetic expression of my personal conviction that humans have the obligation and privilege of creating Heaven on Earth - that is what I believe Jesus was talking about when he said, "Heaven and Earth are One", and "As it is in Heaven, so shall it be on Earth": what we set in the Heavens - shared belief - so shall it manifest in the Earth - our lives and forms. A child, even a young adult, needs a parent or, lacking that, a mentor, who will share a belief in their ability to achieve fulfillment. I'm not talking about fame or fortune, I'm not even talking about selfish desires, I'm talking about a child excelling in whatever they are on Earth to do, whatever it is, so long as it in some way contributes to the wholeness of humanity. Presidents of Ignorance, Vice Presidents of Torture and Wall Street crooks need not apply.

 

For addressing children, especially, although I believe the same for addressing adults - it's just that adults can better weather a well-intentioned but misguided critique - but for children, even teenagers nearing adulthood, I believe in paying attention only to the positive, the uplifting, the best aspirations or qualities each one has. Nobody wants a poem that points out they have a messy room, choose bad friends or can't do math. This was something my wife taught me, but it came quite naturally to me once I understood the idea: that by giving attention to the best in a child, the best is encouraged to grow and express. By the same token, the praise must be rooted in what is really there, or it has a deflating effect - this means careful and close observation, perhaps casual conversation, to find out what is actually harbored in the person's heart or best displayed in their actions. In someone who has been abused, you might have to look for the tiniest clue first, for they will likely hide away very deeply what is most sacred to them.

 

Have you ever heard the saying, "It ain't boastin' if yuh done it"? Well, I can tell you that our four children are absolute marvels, and they have turned out so well in no small part because we were careful to observe what mattered most to each one and to give solid, but unobtrusive, support. This is not spoiling, for those of you who, like me, grew up with an abusive and criticizing parent, and might still carry those misconceptions about parenting modeled so thoroughly by a confused father or mother.

 

Finally, I generally like sonnets in iambic pentameter, ten syllables to the line, but often nine or eleven work just fine. The rhymes should be good words, not "hut" with "butt", and I try not to stretch for an artificial rhyme. For example, in Hannah's sonnet I had rhymed "invisible" with "a sybil", which was awfully clever and deliciously archaic, but, first, it didn't read out loud well - not an easy rhyme for the ear to catch on the fly - and second, while the archaic meaning of sybil is prophetess, the modern meaning that would be inferred by most would be that of "Sybil", the fractured personality - so I changed it. In those lines, "invisible" now rhymes with "sensible"; it reads nicely, catches the ear, and even though the meaning for "sensible" that I intend is somewhat archaic, the context helps the reader understand I mean the older meaning of "being sensitive to", not "practical".

 

As per rhyme scheme, I usually follow the Shakespearean, which has been argued should instead be named after Daniel, who set the example for Shakespeare, but in any case it is as follows: abab cdcd efef gg. The final couplet, by the way, is also known as a Heroic couplet, and in one sonnet I vary the rhyme scheme to make the third quatrain (the third four-line stanza) out of same-rhymed heroic couplets: eeee, so that sonnet's rhymes follow the scheme: abab cdcd eeee ff. Someday I plan to write one that is: aaaa bbbb cccc dd. I understand fully that the Shakespearean form usually has the best overall effect, the sustained suspense of the alternatively rhymed lines of the quatrains culminating in the satisfying rhymed couplet at the end, but sometimes the content calls for a different progression, as it did in the sonnet for Cameron.